What started as necessity has become my preferred routine. When I started attempting to move my body in the form of what some people like to call “working out” I only had 10pm or after to do it. Being determined I took it and ran. Not literally, though. I drug myself to the gym once a week and walked on the treadmill. In the beginning I could only move for about 30 minutes at no incline and maybe about 2.5 speed before I worked up a furious sweat and got sore. A few weeks in I got a gym buddy and I was absolutely terrified of the prospect of someone else I knew seeing how out of shape I really was. Not to mention the insecurity that came from wearing those tight gym outfits to which I wish that I could say I did not need, but lets face it, I overheated with out them. It wasn’t so bad having strangers see me. It wasn’t like I was going to be seeing them outside of the gym anyway. To be honest, anyone who showed up that late felt the same way I did, anyway, and it was like there was an unspoken “you go you” between all of us that reflected in our glances. The importance of having my gym buddy was that even if I knew that I could push myself on my own it took less conscious effort to do so. I had a deeper subconscious drive to do more, go longer, and push harder, just because she was with me. I wasn’t trying to do better than her. That is comical all by itself as she absolutely astounded me in what she could do and her vocal attitude about it. No, I wanted to keep up and I wanted to prove to her and myself that I could be more.
Over the weeks of meeting up with my friend to stress our bodies until we couldn’t move anymore at what some would consider an ungodly hour our relationship grew into something deeper. Sharing our physical weakness lead to us talking about our emotional, and spiritual pitfalls as well. It was full body therapy. Life changed and both of our schedules ended up no longer syncing so our visits to the gym ended together. It was a bittersweet moment for me. I no longer had my accountability to make sure that I made it to the gym and a partner to keep pushing me to go further each time. I did; however, now have a new freedom to see where I could take myself from there. It was my duty to keep myself on track.
At first I kept myself moving. I continued to eat properly. I did what I could at home. I focused on short at home work outs whenever I got 5 or 10 minutes to spare or I’d play harder with my kids during the day. It didn’t go badly until we had our apartment fire. Being in shock of having lost majority of all of our earthly possessions and having to move into a new place that was extremely cramped with out an end in sight really rocked all of our worlds. I did what I could to keep up with what needed to be done. I no longer paid attention to what I was eating as I wasn’t the one making the food anymore. I also had no time or energy to move. For one reason or another life pretty much kicked me in the behind and made it extremely difficult for me to rise above it. So, I didn’t. For a long time. I just let it go. All of my memories, thoughts, and plans concerning my healthier life style started to drift away until it was a fuzzy rendition of what once was in my memory.
I realized the other day that when I put my skin tight workout cloths on how I saw myself. I didn’t like what I saw. I felt fat. I could see and feel the rolls. Then I remembered how much more was there a year ago. 80 pounds prior I put the same style of workout cloths on and proudly marched myself into the gym and here I was insecure about the little tiny rolls I have now just standing in my backyard for the neighbors to see. How absolutely absurd! The fact is body image has 100% to do with your attitude and nothing about how you actually look. How you look does not define the inner you. That is just a shell to house the amazing personality inside. It all starts with your thoughts. If you feel beautiful, you will be beautiful. As cliché as it all may sound to say, it really does not matter what other people think about your shell. Embrace and accept what it is so that you can take it by the reins and command control over it for your future.
What am I trying to get at here? Well, for one, I know first hand how difficult it is to start moving. It is not easy to go from nothing to something. It hurts. Its hot. It is even worse the next day when your arms and legs are like sand bags. All of your body image insecurities rise up and you need to be surrounded by constant positivity. I can attest, though, that once you get moving and start meeting goals it gets easier. When you feel progress it makes a world of difference. I’d say see, but most healthy life style changes don’t happen visually. They say it takes about 8 weeks of intense working out to see a difference yourself and 12 weeks for other people to really notice. That does not mean other amazing changes are not happening, though. It is important to keep your short term goals obtainable and small like “This week I will do 10 jumping jacks. Next week I’ll do 20.” Also, don’t be afraid to adjust your goals if they’re too high as you’re going. It isn’t failure, its evaluating your true limitations to insure success.
The next important reason I’m sharing all of this information with you is that having an accountability partner does make reaching your goals easier. It isn’t about feeling guilty when you fail, but giving you that extra subconscious push to try a little bit harder to cross the finish line of your intentions. Also, having a good accountability partner puts you both into a great position to keep things positive! Take for example I shared with my gym buddy I had an extra cookie, so she said, and I’m paraphrasing here, “good for you, its important to indulge some times, but lets walk it off now.” She could not have been closer to the truth. There is nothing wrong with an occasional indulging moment. Often we need it since society has raise us to live off of a reward system. The important thing is to stay accountable to what it means when you do indulge. If you don’t have a partner, find one who you both can be completely honest with each other about your ups and downs. Keep it positive. Be their charge and let them be yours.
My last comment for today concerning this subject is never give up. Even if you stop, that doesn’t mean you need to give up mentally. Even if the world falls apart around you and you start to fall away into the fuzzy blur of crashing waves never give up on yourself. Take a break, but never stop believing that you can do this.
Because? Friend.
You.
Can.
Do.
This.
…and as always, thanks for dropping by and taking a read! If you like what you’ve seen don’t forget to visit, like, follow, and share The Sedentary Momma on Facebook, Twitter, Pintrest, & here on WordPress!
Until next time, be blessed!
The Sedentary Mom
The Sedentary Momma 